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Reminiscence and Moving Forward

Nearly two years ago, I remember entering a thrift shop having a sale. I went inside looking for interesting doohickeys and doodads. I found classic game systems all in need of extra wiring. Trying to be helpful, the owner asked if I needed help with anything, I nodded, explained the situation, and I followed him to a corner nearer to the cash register. He pulled out a large shoebox and began sifting through the wires. I looked through baseball cards in a box nearby then my eyes caught notice of a stack of magazines on a shelf a couple of feet from my face--Playboy.

Immediately, I thought of the stack of Playboy magazines in the bathroom of my older brother's undergraduate college apartment over a decade ago. I really don't remember having seen one since! The owner of the thrift shop told me each Playboy cost five dollars.

What re-ignited my interest in Playboy was American Playboy: The Hugh Hefner Story. I really wanted to read Playboy to experience the editorial. At the time of initially discovering the thrift shop's collection of Playboy, I didn't buy any, but-- a year later, I did-- because of a woman on the cover--Jennifer Lavoie, sitting on a stack of books in overalls-- which would lead me to (sigh) a really good friend I had tried to re-connect with years before.

Playboy by Hugh Hefner Jennifer Lavoie Cover

At my first undergraduate school (before transferring to be closer to my mom after my eldest brother's passing): I had a good friend that I'd game with, meet at the gym, and joke around a lot with. Her and Jennifer Lavoie share many facial qualities. After my purchase, I looked deeper (than I did in previous years) for my friend on the internet to find she died. I was really sad; the time (years ago) when I had initially begun my attempt to reconnect was around the same time of her passing. I'm not a morbid person.

It's really weird to live in a world with so many connective possibilities, and-- at the same time-- a world in which moving on from is natural. Intentionally, I've reached all the way back (even to my biological father) to better situate and understand my life moving forward. I'm definitely a stronger individual overall, in every aspect of my life, and am continuously finding ways to improve.

Yet, I've come to understand: if one has the chances that time only temporarily permits-- and actions always allow, then one should be honest and timely with no regrets. Not everyone gets the chances to reach all the way back--circumstances-- but, everyone may continue making their way better forward.

You'll always remember,

Until you have to forget,

The old memories burdening,

The new ones coming.

There's so much greatness ahead.

Onward and Upward,

Kevin Dufresne

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